If we truly are the body of Christ then why is it that churches seem to have detached limbs? How come I haven't been to church and no one notices? Heck I'm on the church council! If I'm treated like this what are others who aren't involved treated like? It makes me so sad to think that no one in my church cares enough to recognize that someone has been missing and reaches out to say so.

My daughter goes to a youth group at another church as well as ours. She hasn't been there once this year and they sent her a note written by several kids asking her to come back. She doesn't go to that church and yet they noticed that she hasn't been at youth. They noticed enough to send her a note inviting her back.

I guess I lied. People have noticed I haven't been there, but not one person has said anything. I know they've noticed cause our pastor told our youth director he should invite my daughters back to church. I wonder what would happen if the pastor himself invited them. I wonder how much more it would mean to them to have the pastor notice their absence. This could be an interesting experiment. Hmmmm

So we moved into our home. It's incredibly weird to live in the same place and the surroundings are familiar except the other new house directly across the street, but the house itself has very little that's familiar. It's been interesting getting used to this new life. Maybe as I unpack more it will start feeling more familiar.

As for moving on... is it time? Is NOW the time? I thought I'd wait things out till the end of the year, but a few things seem to be leading me away now. I'm not sure what to do and if these leadings are from God. I'm starting spiritual direction tomorrow so maybe that will help clear up these muddy waters. Part of me is so ready to move on and be free of that which is tormenting me and holding me back spiritually, but another part of me sees a commitment I made and feels the need to see that commitment through. I'm struggling with this right now.

So we can finally finally move into our new house! This incredible 1 year and 9 month journey is almost over. We started moving stuff into the new house today. We're doing the big move next weekend. I can't believe this is almost over. I kept thinking this was just a dream that would always be just out of reach. Now the end really is in sight! I'll have my own home once again! I'll be able to get organized. I'll have an awesome kitchen and can cook! So many things to do this week, add work, council meeting, and Midwest Ministry exam and I'm going to be stressed, but it's over! This is good stress.

Another thing that kicked my butt recently is another podcast from Rockharbor. There was a quote which I've never heard. It's "you judge others by their actions. You judge yourself by your intentions." Whoa! Yep, I sure have been guilty of that. I never really thought about it, but now that I have I know something that needs to change, on both levels. I need to look more closely at my actions and what those reveal to others. I need to think of the intent behind others' actions a little more than I do. Might make relationships smoother. Gotta think about this a little more.

Listening to friends and looking at my own church this question comes to mind. I've been part of discussions about being called out for wearing jeans to church or leading worship barefoot or where furniture is placed or spending a good portion of a council meeting discussing property issues. Why are these things more important than following God's call? Where is God in this? What does He think of all this? I can see Jesus walking in barefoot and ripping off the new $20,000 doors, getting dirt on the new carpet. I can see Jesus telling us we're all just Pharisees. I can see Jesus being completely disgusted with what's been done in His name and "for his glory". We're not doing it for His glory. We're doing these things for those in the pews and to steal the sheep from the flock down the road.

Church needs to get back to what's important, what our call as congregations is: the Great Commission. Let's stop worrying about the pointless things and take care of the homeless, the hurting, the broken, the lost in our communities and in the world. Church isn't a building. It's not for the comfort of those who already sit in the pews. We aren't here to build "attractive" programs to draw people. We're not here to back stab, to fight, to pick on, to make life difficult for others. We're here to GO out into the world and make disciples. No wonder the word Christian has such a bad connotation.